Choosing the right celebrant is a critical part of your wedding planning, and one that you need to do earlier rather than later. Celebrants are often booked up way in advance, especially during the busy wedding season between Labour Weekend and Easter.
Celebrants are as varied as the couples they are marrying, so it’s important to find one who is a good fit for you, and for the style of wedding you are envisaging. You may find the right one straightaway, or you may need to contact several before you find one who resonates with you. You may already have a firm idea of whether you want male or female, younger or more mature, funny or serious, straight or gay, and so on. Asking around for recommendations can be a good start. And checking out their website is also a good way to get a first impression and decide if you want to follow up with a phone call or email. Then, if that’s promising, an interview in person or online will be the next step.
Once you have narrowed down your choices, here are some questions to ask your potential celebrant:
· How much do you charge? This is usually the first question couples ask, and the fees can vary greatly depending on the celebrant’s experience and popularity. But bear in mind, regardless of what they charge your celebrant will probably be one of your smaller wedding expenses. You will most likely pay way more for your cake than your celebrant, even though a celebrant is essential whereas a cake is not!
· What is included in your fee? Does it include as many meetings as required to get your ceremony sorted? Will they organise/attend a rehearsal? Can you contact them any time you have questions or need help? Are there any add-on charges such as travel time?
· Do they require a deposit? How much? When is it payable? Is it refundable or non-refundable? What is their cancellation policy if your wedding date has to be cancelled or changed for any reason?
· Do they have a sound system for ceremony music and microphone? If so, is this included in their fee, or is there an additional charge?
· Do they provide a table and chair for signing the documents? This may not be so important if your ceremony is at a venue, but if it is at a beach or other outdoor venue (separate to the reception venue) then this will be one less thing for you to worry about if they do.
· Do they belong to the Celebrants Association of NZ (CANZ)? The Celebrants Association is a professional body which requires all its members to adhere to a code of ethics, and which promotes ongoing education and professional development. Membership gives you a kind of quality control assurance.
· Do they do multiple weddings in one day? This is not necessarily a problem, but you want to ensure that there is sufficient time between ceremonies so the celebrant doesn’t have to rush your ceremony.
· How long have they been a celebrant and how many weddings do they do in an average year? This gives you an idea of how experienced they are, but don’t rule out new celebrants with little experience, as this may be compensated by their freshness and enthusiasm.
· What steps will they take to personalise your ceremony? You don’t want to feel as though they trot out the same old ceremony for everyone and have just filled in the blanks with your names.
· Are they amenable to making their clothing fit in with your colour palette or your theme? You may want them to wear dark or unobtrusive colours so they don’t stand out in the photos. Or you may not want them to wear the same colour as your bridesmaids or groomsmen, but neither do you want them to clash. If your wedding is boho or if it’s black tie, you may want your celebrant’s outfit to reflect this theme.
· Do they listen to your ideas for your ceremony and adapt to them, or do they try to impose their own opinions on you? Having been involved in many weddings, your celebrant will be a great source of ideas and suggestions, but ultimately it is your day, your way. If they don’t like your ideas, find someone who does.
· Are they willing to share a draft of your ceremony with you? Even if want the ceremony to be a surprise package, they should check they have their facts correct, especially with respect to names, dates, places and sharing your story. Alternatively, you may want to check the ceremony word-for-word. Your celebrant should be happy to run with whatever you prefer.
· Will they help you with writing your vows, and with suggestions for readings/poems to include in your ceremony? A good celebrant should be able to give you examples of traditional and modern vows, and hints for writing your own, as well as a selection of suitable readings or poems to give you some inspiration.
· Do they have a back-up plan if they are sick on the day? Celebrants will generally soldier on regardless, but sometimes bad stuff happens. You don’t want your celebrant to become the next COVID super-spreader!
· Why can’t I just ask my aunty or best friend to be our celebrant? Unlike in the USA where anyone can pay $20 and be ordained as a celebrant, in New Zealand there is a strict procedure which must be followed before someone can be registered as a celebrant. This is set down by the Dept of Internal Affairs, and they want to ensure celebrants are suitable for and dedicated to the role––they don’t want to approve one-ceremony-wonders!