If you’ve decided to get married by an independent celebrant (i.e. not in a church), what do you need to know about planning your ceremony? The good news is, in NZ there are only a few things you absolutely have to do to make your wedding legal, and the rest is up to you. For the legal stuff, you need only yourselves, a licenced celebrant, and two witnesses. And all five of you need to be in the same place (virtual weddings are not allowed). At some point in the ceremony the celebrant needs to use your full names (first name, surname and anything in between), and you each need to say something along the lines of “I take XYZ to be my husband/wife”. Everything else is optional. However, most weddings include a similar progression of familiar rituals.

Here are ten simple steps to get you started on what you may like to include in your own ceremony:

1) Arrival of guests / groom / groomsmen – Ceremony begins;

2) Processional – arrival of bride / bridesmaids;

3) Celebrant’s welcome / opening address;

4) Reading / poem / song;

5) Exchange of vows – standard vows or write your own;

6) Exchange of rings, and/or other rituals such as unity candle, sand ceremony, joining of hands;

7) Pronouncement – you are now married – KISS!

8) Signing – signing & witnessing of the legal documents (x2);

9) Closing remarks / Presentation of you as a married couple;

10) Recessional – bride & groom and attendants walk out.

You can vary this simple format as much as you like: Arrive at the ceremony and walk in together or mingle with your guests beforehand. As many readings, poems or songs as you want, or none at all. Add in some music for the procession, signing and recessional. Don’t want to exchange rings? no problem – it’s not compulsory, and there are alternative rituals if you fancy something else. Involve your children, pets? Jump the broom? Plant a tree? Anything is possible. Your day, your way.

The right celebrant will guide you through all these options to create a ceremony which is perfect for you.